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RIGHTS || MARRIAGE || NEW LIFE || WOMEN ALONE |
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RIGHTS || MARRIAGE || NEW LIFE || WOMEN ALONE |
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What was it like being female in Ancient Greece?
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A woman was regarded as the property of her father (kyrios) and then of her husband until she died. If a daughter did not get married, she remained the property of her father, and this was a terrible disgrace for the family. Girls were treated as daughters all of their lives while boys came of age at eighteen. Greek society was patriarchal -- it was controlled by men and did not allow women full political and social rights. Men tended to behave more like fathers toward women. A woman was told what to do all her life, either by her father, her husband, or her sons. Click here to see what a typical day for a housewife in ancient Greece might have been like! |
Betrothals (promises to marry) were arranged by the bride's father. The father chose an appropriate husband (who was probably about thirty years old) for his daughter (who was probably only 12 or so). The dowry (a payment of money to the husband's family) was agreed to at this time and was a very necessary part of the marriage. Girls whose families were too poor to provide a dowry ran the risk of staying unmarried. If a woman was divorced, the dowry had to be paid back to the head of the household.
The dowry was the focal point of bargaining in the marriage negotiations and consisted of cash, movables, and sometimes houses, but not land, which went to her brothers. This was the woman's contribution to the joint household and a constant source of protection. Although it was managed by her kyrios (husband, father, or son), it remained hers, going with her if her marriage ended by divorce (unless she had been unfaithful) or by the death of her husband.
Once the terms of the dowry were satisfactorily arranged, the contract was sealed by a ceremony in which the prospective husband pledged to the kyrios of the bride that he received her, "for the purpose of bearing legitimate children". This ceremony was conducted between two males; the presence of the bride herself was not required, and in fact she might not know anything about it at all!
Marriage was a difficult affair for the bride, even though she wanted it. Her new husband was considerably older than she was. It was difficult for this new bride to transfer from the protection of her father to a new household under another man and to give her new loyalties to this new household. This bride now was subject to the control of her mother-in-law and she had to be obedient to her in-laws.
A husband expected his wife to be already skilled in domestic tasks, such as weaving, spinning, cooking, cleaning, and managing slaves. Marrying a young girl was thought to be a very good thing by the men in ancient Greece because you could teach her good habits. The most important task of a Greek wife was to become the mother of sons who would grow up to survive their parents and inherit the family property. It was not appropriate for a female to own her own property. If there was no son, then a daughter would inherit the property but she was expected to marry a close relative chosen by her father so that he might inherit the land.
Sons were expected to work at occupations that would bring money to the household while daughters were trained in domestic skills in preparation for the time that they would marry.
It was extremely important that wives be faithful to their husbands and if they weren't, a husband could divorce her. A woman could divorce her husband but it was very rare. A woman divorced by her husband would be excluded from public ceremonies, forbidden to wear jewelry, and regarded by others as a social outcast.
Women past childbearing age often stayed with their sons, who were obliged to support them. A single woman still capable of bearing children, whether she was a widow, divorcee, or single, was considered a terrible thing. Even if a woman was widowed, she was expected to get married again as soon as possible.
